People.

I’m a nice person but I really don’t think it’s possible to get along with everyone in the world. Some personalities do not mix well with others. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to give them the cold shoulder every time I see them; I just won’t acknowledge their existence, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I refuse to involve myself with people who doesn’t even give off positive vibes and doesn’t make a difference in my life.

I try getting to know them or having a conversation but they lack communication. They are dead boring or think they're too good. Like shut up, you aren't all that ... seriously. It's okay, though. I know we're in a group and I have to work with you guys, but that doesn't mean we're friends. You don't effect my life anyway.

Outcast.

Sometimes I honestly feel like an outcast. Even when I’m surrounded by people, I feel like the odd ball - like there’s no one who can understand me or is able to relate. I’m still trying to find a place where I really feel like I belong. I had an amazing group of friends in high school and it’s sad that everyone dispersed into different directions. I’m trying to meet new people, build more friendships but there’s never the same connection I’ve had w/ past friends. It’s not like how it was before. Everyone on campus just seems different. I know I don’t need to make new friends because I love my friends already but I need a comfort zone at school. I miss what use to be. I’m just trying to find that in the present. I don’t want to have to try so hard to fit in.

Something Real.

I’m at a point in my life where if I were to be looking for a relationship, I would want a real relationship. The purpose of dating is to be together in hopes of getting married one day, right? That’s only if you’re the ‘want to be married’ type. But I can’t settle for someone who can’t offer me equal or more than what I have. I don’t mean to seem high-maintenance or anything but I need someone who can take care of himself and has room to take care of me. Someone who can take me places and at least has a job. Someone who’s independent and knows what he wants. Someone who has their life together and has goals for his future. Those qualities play a huge role. I’m looking for a serious relationship, not something to play with.

Lonely Girl.

16 years alone and then another year and a half being single, I can't help the fact that I'm use to being independent - that I'm use to relying on my own for many things. I can't help that I'm defensive and guard myself with the right intentions. I think college has changed me. I use to be very social and outgoing but I feel as if all my energy has decreased. I was questioning myself about it earlier. Is it my mentality changing due to maturity or is it the environment I'm in now? I'm not sure. Sometimes when I'm in a room full of people, I still feel alone and I really don't like the feeling because it shouldn't be like that, you know? I should feel welcomed but I don't. I've tried to be more friendly and talkative but I can only try so hard. I don't want to have to push myself to try and develop some kind of personality that I don't have. I wouldn't be me. I use to have a group of friends to go to but I feel like I don't have that either. Everyone is segregated. Everyone actually has a group they're able to go back to but I really don't. One of the reasons why I wanted to join a sorority was so I had something to bounce back on but that just wasn't for me. I think I shall get involved in another club to meet more people and gain new experiences. I think that would be good for me. I just need people to talk to. People to connect with. People to go out and have fun with without having to try as hard.

Also. Being dependent upon myself for so long, it gets lonely. I mean, all these couples and people having someone to talk to. I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in, watching everyone do their own thing while I'm just standing still. I'm always the odd one out w/ no excitement in my life or stories to tell. I want the chance to feel again, I want to feel more. I know only time will tell what happens, but I'm tired of waiting sometimes. It gets frustrating and I don't want to lose hope. I just need to pick up a hobby to do to keep my mind occupied from everything.

I'm just a lonely girl.

Not so crushed.

It was nothing but physical attraction.
No need to be dramatic w/ my emotions.

Because when nothing was there, nothing was there. He wasn't my type anyway, at all. It's okay. (: I am over it.


I'm gonna focus on me. Don’t think so much. Don’t analyze so much. Don’t assume so much. Just relax. Focus on what’s going on now and just focus on me.
<3