School & I.

School and I are having a love/hate relationship. Well, I've never loved college but here we are in this turmoil. I can't help the fact that I feel as if school is a waste of time. We take all these required classes that is totally unnecessary and worthless in our lives just to move along to taking classes that actually relates to our major. I honestly DON'T get it and I'm a bit aggravated. I know I'm going to need statistics, just maybe in life but courses like history, music, religious studies and etc. I don't understand how that would tie into my life. I mean, they are interesting courses but if I wanted to learn something interesting I can just go out of school to learn something not sit in a classroom for hours every week, reading from a book, listening from a professor blabble on and on. I mean, get real here. Ahhhhhhh! I'm just venting out about school. I am at lost for some motivation. Kevin tried to give me some words yesterday but my thoughts just conflicted w/ his because he was saying that I should work hard now and play later because it will be worth it later in life. But then in my head, later in life isn't guaranteed. You know? That's why everytime I get the chance for some fun or to be able to hangout w/ family & friends, I TAKE it because I would choose them over school anytime. They're the purpose in my life and I want to cherish everyday that I have. Not spend my days stuck in books and stressing over something temporary, you know? But I DO understand that I should work hard because it will be beneficial to me. My only motivation I have is my parents. Everytime that I want to quit, I think of them because I'm going to school to find a suitable career and have a successful life so I can make them proud and pay them back for all they have done for me. I don't even go to school for myself. If it was up to me, I would just drop-out and chill ... hahah. But no, I can't. I have to do this. And that's my downfall. I need some self-motivation. I'm constantly by myself at school when I'm not going to class w/ Kevin & Danny. I don't have a place at SDSU where I'm happy, where I can be myself. Not even joining APSA has helped. It has a little because I was able to meet some really cool people but walking in to the meeting today, I felt extremely weird for some reason. I just miss my friends. I'm trying to be more social and more myself. I'm trying to find something worth looking forward to. Trying, trying, trying. *sigh, I am in the same predicament I was last fall semester. But school has only been in session for a couple weeks. So, I should just wait it out and hope that things will get better later on.